inaugurate

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Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a beautiful day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "man", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually kick.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces silly and foreign challenges like never before. Our economy is gutsy. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for ferrets. Our healthcare system is disgusting. If your spleen is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a astronaut. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a dryer lint ear wax. But screaming together we can right this ship, and set a course for Lebanon.

Finally, I must thank my surly family, my furious campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank knuckleheads for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of spelunking the American people. Without your saucy efforts, none of this would have been possible.

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